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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex will make your day, but anal sex will make your whole week."

"Twitter: What do our users want? Users: An edit button and relief from spam/abuse. Twitter: Novella-length Tweets it is!"

"if you walk up to a british policeman and play the benny hill music he legally has to chase you until you turn it off"

"This, being a gentleman thing really works. Women just fall for me when I offer them my handkerchief. Sure it's dabbed in chloroform..."

"What does an Engineer use for contraception? His personality!"

"I had a Crazy Dream Wait for dreams to come up in conversation. I had a crazy dream last night. I drempt I was a muffler... and when i woke up I was exhausted."

"A soldier gets his entire left half of him blown off by a landmine He's alright now though."

"Women are like a 1000 piece puzzle... Hard to finish in 10minutes"

"My ex got me arrested cause i used to sit outside her house all day. She thought i was stalking her but i wasn't, i just had her WiFi code."

"What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics? Walking."