152647

Joke of the Day

"What does an Engineer use for contraception? His personality!"

"I asked my friends how they decided they were going to have a baby... They said it was just sperm of the moment."

"What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much? He cracked up."

"I was in a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words..."

"Why does Kylo Ren have no friends? Because his whole life he's Ben Solo"

"A dashcam video of a cop lip-syncing and dancing to a Taylor Swift song went viral, which is just one more reason to hate the police."

"Anyone still keeping up with their New Year's resolutions? I am... Still 1080p"

"If you are really good at comedy you can make $250 writing for a multimillionaire."

"Dear Short guy at the gym who's really fucking jacked. I don't think your goal should be to grow wider, little buddy..."

"I've done a few things I've been ashamed of, but at least I never played FarmVille."