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Joke of the Day

"My father always told me, he liked his women like he liked his sunglasses. Sitting on his face."

"If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.......... If you're almost there & she laughs, now that's a different thing....."

"If I ever have two sons, I'll name one Penn and the other Sword, then make them wrestle a lot just to see if it's true."

"Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans? Because it was soda pressing."

"What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits till you're 12 to come on your face."

"What do drunk female pirates like to give up? DA BOOTY!"

"What do Egyptians do when their mass transit breaks down? Get Anubis."

"My friends ask me why I play soccer even though I'm not very good at it. just for kicks"

"You're not fat. You're just... easier to see!"

"Wheather you have a lot of sex or watch porn frequently... without propper protection you're going to catch a virus."