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Joke of the Day

"What do Egyptians do when their mass transit breaks down? Get Anubis."

"My doctor said NO drinking for 2 weeks,then we both laughed."

"I just deleted all the German names from my phone Now it's Hans free."

"Immortality sounded great when I was 23, but now that I'm 38 it just sounds exhausting."

"How did they cure the swine flu? With oinkment."

"Boss: I was listening to some Tool on the way to work. Me: I talk to myself when I'm driving sometimes too, it's ok. Boss: Just get out."

"How many Hitlers does it take to change a light bulb? Nein"

"What do you call a brony in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile"

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!"

"When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this... Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? A: To get to the same side!"