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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster farmer and a prostitute with diarrhoea? The farmer shucks between fits."

"Yo mama's so fat When she backed up her pictures to iCloud, the entire sky fell."

"How can you tell if your wife is dead? If the sex stays the same but the dishes pile up."

"What is Captain Picard's favorite Chinese takeout ? Make it Tso!"

"On the periodic table, the elements are represented by two groups. The symbols and the atomic number. Law and Order: Atomic Mass Unit"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Divorce Barbie ...includes the house the car and half of Ken's belongings"

"Boss: You're not fired but we're taking away all your responsibilities. Me: Cool, a promotion! Boss: No-- Me: Sounds like a promotion to me."

"I'd have a longer attention span if things weren't so shiny"

"I read a story by a pregnant woman on reddit She was having trouble with her pregnancy, and she said she would post an update after it was over. OP delivered."

"Hell yes, I have the body of a Greek god: nice abs, expressionless eyes, genitals shot off by bored soldiers during The Franco-Prussian War"