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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about this year's newest fad diet coming out of New York and New Jersey? The swim-fast diet."

"(Sexism warning) Yesterday a tree fell on a woman and killed her. What was a tree doing in the kitchen?"

"I named my iPod ""The Titanic"" Oh look! It's syncing now."

"What did 1 volcano say to another volcano? That ash."

"*poops blood* ""What the heck I haven't eaten blood in weeks"""

"Millennials are so spoilt with their smartphones & tablets. All we had at their age was the ability to buy property in Central London."

"Have you seen www.topsecret.com? If I have I'm not going to tell you."

"Just bought some local farm-fresh free-range artisanal organic grass-fed hormone-free something or other that makes me better than you."

"Why did Ted Bundy dropout of an Italian cooking class? There were not enough Italians to eat."

"I stuck my foot in a honeycomb. I bee tripping."