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Joke of the Day

"My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it. She's gonna love this pack of playing cards."

Next Joke
 
"What do you call a black man on the moon... An Astronaut!"
"Pretty sure 40% of Americans would vote for a giant finger that just pointed at people and said ""Their Fault."""
"I was mugged by an artist last night.... he drew a gun on me"
"I got banned from my chiropractors office. Apparently its not ""appropriate"" to ask for a happy ending."
"What do you call a one legged female pirate? ARRRRlene..."
"My ex girlfriend had a really weird fetish... She would dress like herself and act like a fucking bitch all the time."
"If I played Edward Scissor Hands in paper, rock, scissors every once in a while I'd throw a paper in there so he wouldn't feel too bad."
"Your breath is so nasty.... That people look forward to your farts"
"Science flies you to the moon Religion flies you into buildings"