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Joke of the Day

"Pregnancy in the 1940's. (Doc) - ""Mrs. Smith, I have some **great** news for you"".... (Patient) - ""Thats MISS Smith, doctor!"".... (Doc) - ""Miss Smith, I have some *bad* news for you""...."

"Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're brave enough."

"What did Hugh Hefner say when he got to heaven? meh"

"After realizing that I was living a boring, directionless, and empty life, I went to South Korea.. to go Seoul searching."

"End a boring conversation by opening an umbrella in their face"

"They always say to follow your gut, that's why this is my 11th trip to the fridge for another beer."

"So Godzilla walks into a bar... The entire building is destroyed. 23 people are missing and presumed dead."

"Me: Did you just put your fingers in my drink? 5yo: I don't have poison on my fingers! Me: But why did you....wait, what?"

"I won't believe Johnny Depp is engaged until I've seen he's put a ring, 90 bracelets, 7 scarves, a fedora and an ugly pair of glasses on it."

"People say love is the best feeling in the world, but I think finding a toilet when you have diarrhea is better."