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Joke of the Day

"People say love is the best feeling in the world, but I think finding a toilet when you have diarrhea is better."

"What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes."

"Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday"

"If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day, it increases the chance of a stroke. If you let her finish the bottle, she'll probably suck it as well."

"What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck"

"Stranger with a black eye is trying to talk to me. But I'm not going to respond cause it's pretty apparent she doesn't listen."

"It was Beethoven's 245th birthday yesterday. Of course, that's only 35 in human years "

"A real Don Juan has to dress not only tasteful but also very quickly."

"My wife is actually mad at me for being so excited to see her mother tonight.... The viewing is at 7pm."

"How is credit like cocaine? Everyone just needs 1 more line."