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Joke of the Day

"People say love is the best feeling in the world, but I think finding a toilet when you have diarrhea is better."

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"Yo mama so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida."
"My Girlfriend is doing majors in Physics Yesterday she texted me she needs time and distance. I dont even know why she wants to calculate the velocity"
"Which bird ran for President? H. Ross Parrot"
"What does Putin say during his new years speech? Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!"
"Set my phone to change K to Okay!! so I don't look rude. Now it looks like I'm all excited about stupid shit, and I'm Okay!! with that."
"CNN is running a spot called ""Why Tsumanis are Dangerous"". They should follow it with a spot on ""Why Journalism Is Dead""."
"I installed a pet door over the weekend, and the dog barked at it, and the cat pissed on it, but the raccoons have got the idea."
"Why is Arjen Robben not being invited to Alfredo Di Stefanos funeral? They're scared he'll try to dive in the box."
"What do you call a nun using katana? Nunja."