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Joke of the Day

"So Harambe walked into a bar Bartender: What will you be having to drink? Harambe: I'll have a beer Me: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice? Me: Yes, justice for Harambe"

"I know we're smarter than dogs, but whenever I hear them bark for no reason I'm positive they know more than I do."

"Nigel Farage gets his girlfriend pregnant.. Soon after the pregnancy test arrived as positive, he says ""My fatherhood ambition has been achieved. I want my life back"""

"On allegations of Mayweather beating his wife... He was undefeated, he couldn't let her win."

"They say that you are safer in a bigger group Unless you're with 6 million...and everyone is jewish"

"My girlfriend messed up baking a tart She was to re-tart it"

"How can you tell if a duck has soul? If it's bill withers!"

"I had sex with both of the Olsen twins. But that was before they were famous."

"Why is it whenever we see a police car, we drive like we have 10 kilos of cocaine and a stolen baby in the car?"

"What do you call it when a son of Royalty fucks his sister? Prin-cest"