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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend messed up baking a tart She was to re-tart it"

"I say waiter there's a fly in my soup! Well throw him a doughnut - they make fantastic life belts!"

"I got gas for $1 today damn bean burritos."

"Not all math puns are bad Just sum"

"Called a plumber out the other day. He was Chinese. Called a builder, he was also Chinese. Called an electrician out. He was Chinese as well ! Bloody Yellow Pages"

"Nicki Minaj washes off her Halloween make up to reveal Lady Gaga who washes her face to reveal Madonna who washes her face to reveal an Emu."

"What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars? Astronomical"

"How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? THAT'S NOT FUNNY"

"Nothing is more terrifying than putting back a shirt without folding it and then making eye contact with the shopping assistant."

"Out of all the things that go bump in the night... your parent's bed is definitely the scariest"