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Joke of the Day

"We see you, people who order tea at coffee shops. We see you..."

"WHAT DO YOU CALL A FAKE NOODLE? AN IMPASTA."

"Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean's bottom."

"Why are piggy banks actually pigs? To keep Jews away from your money."

"When you're feeling down, just remember... you've accomplished more than Steve Jobs this year."

"In my doctor's waiting room, I explained to a WWII veteran what a Twitter follower count is. I think he regrets winning the war now."

"Did you know the weather is just like a Muslim? It's either Sunni or it's Shiite."

"I got kicked out of a massage parlor the other day. Apparently the prostate isn't considered ""deep tissue."""

"Why do women live on average two years longer? Because the time they spend parking doesn't count."

"What's the worst thing to say to a hipster? You remind me of someone"