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Joke of the Day
"If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time... are they guilty of resisting a rest?"
Next Joke
"YOGI: Close your eyes and breathe. ME: [angrily rolling up my mat] I was under the impression this was a picnic and you were a talking bear"
"Thanks to Twitter I can tell people I read."
"I just burned 12000 calories I left the pizza in the oven"
"What did one saggy t*t say to the other saggy t*t? If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!"
"Why do white girls travel in groups of 3? Because they can't even"
"Sometimes the last thing people hear before they're murdered is the sound of their pen that they won't stop clicking."
"More sad news in the music industry today... Kanye west was found alive in his house this morning..."
"Kim Davis becoming a Republican, dealing a huge blow to the ""intolerant homophobic religious fundamentalist"" wing of the Democratic Party."
"How do you confuse an idiot? Give him two spades and ask him to take his pick."