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Joke of the Day
"Where did the Indian buy his sandwiches? The New Dehli"
Next Joke
"How do cows communicate? Moorse code."
"When I was younger I wanted to rule the world. Now I just want to spell words close enough that autocorrect can figure out what I'm saying"
"So, I measured my penis with one of those digital rulers... ...Anyone know how to convert LOL into inches?"
"[working in garage] ""Hand me a screwdriver, son"" A flat one? ""No"" [mixes vodka and Orange Crush] Here ya go"
"wife: That guy is texting and driving! That is so dangerous! me [holding a donut in each hand and steering with my knee]: So dangerous"
"The best part of September is fucking with Green Day during their hibernation."
"Who is dear & near friend... Who's hot... Its U, Who's Charming... Its U, Who's Sweetest.. Its U, Who's Intelligent... Its U, Who's dear & near friend... Its U, Who's a liar.. Its me"
"Playboy bunnies are weird. Who decided that women look sexier dressed up as half-human half-rabbit monsters?"
"I am not the same person at 8am and 8pm."