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Joke of the Day

"If apples come from apple seeds and tomatoes come from tomato seeds, how come nothing is sprouting from the bird seeds I planted?"

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"I bet Edward Scissorhands is very much afraid of Edward Rockhands."
"Computer Science major walks into an English class The Professor says ""Welcome to English 101"". The student panicks. ""What's wrong?"" asks the Professor. ""I missed the first 4 English classes""."
"When I write too fast, my ""E"" looks like a ""G"" making this assignment sheet where I marked several projects as ""DONE"" look pretty weird."
"My Sex Life"
"10 Money Saving Tips (Joke) http://travelmediacafe.com/2014/11/18/10-money-saving-tips/"
"Dad with his son are watching a movie when a sex scene begins \-Son, leave the room please. \-Dad, but I'm 23... \-I don't give a fuck how old you are, you're not going to watch me jack off."
"My worst 3 subjects in school we're Math and English."
"Are there any 6 foot penguins round here? Asked the stranger who just pulled up wih his truck outside a bar. ""No"" the barkeep replied. ""Well fuck,"" he said, ""I guess I just ran over a nun..."""
"On this Fourth of July, just remember... He who comes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the Fifth."