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Joke of the Day

"friend: let's meet up soon me: *in the crow's nest of a ship docking outside your house* when though"

"Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ? Pupil: 12 - 2nd January 2nd February...!"

"Although not as effective as finger quotes, finger commas and finger periods are way fun."

"What does Saddam Hussein and little Miss Moffat have in common? They both had curds/Kurds in their whey/way!"

"Why did the Chicken Cross the Basketball Court? He Heard the Ref was Blowing Fouls"

"How much sex does a sister of the church get? Nun"

"Why was Pinocchio acting drunk? He couldn't handle his lacquer"

"Why doesn't a skeleton fall in love with a human. maybe it's Because the skeleton doesn't have a heart."

"Life's a bitch, Because if it was a slut, It would be easy."

"I've decided to start carrying a knife. After an attempted mugging last week I've decided to start carrying a knife. Since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful."