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Joke of the Day
"What did Chewy say after episode VII? I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo solo"
Next Joke
"C sections. They really take it out of you."
"I'm deeply in love with you. But hard deeply, like demented. Kind of sick if you know what I mean. I will most probably end up carving you up. Want a coffee?"
"Stephen Hawking seems to be a very emotional person He is even moved by his chair"
"Why don't lobsters share? Because they're shellfish..."
"Mommy! I found a $10 bill today, but I threw it away, cus it was fake. ""Oh, how did you know it was fake?"" ""It had two zeroes instead of one."""
"If tomatoes are a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie."
"[leaving 5 minute voicemail] ...and you can reach me at [deep breath] *says phone number as fast as possible, slurring the numbers together*"
"A magician stopped me in the street. He said, ""Think of a number between 1 and 10."" I said, ""OK."" He said, ""Have you got one?"" I said, ""No, not yet. It's only 12.30."""
"How many animals can you fit into a pair of panty hose? 2 calves, an ass, 1 beaver, a shit load of hares, a camel toe, and a fish nobody can find."