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Joke of the Day

"Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven."

"Yo momma so poor... that ducks throw bread at her. I fucking lost my shit at a [6]!"

"I woke up today feeling like a god! I don't believe in myself. :("

"What do you call a Pakistani prostitute in France? Lahore."

"The lazy river is my favorite ride at this amusement park. ""Ahhhhh!"" I scream as I float in a giant circle, not spilling my drink at all"

"Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because the B shells are too small and the D shells are too big!"

"How many Einsteins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Relatively few"

"Terrorist jokes are a good way to make karma They always blow up."

"*Skrillex, young and penniless, is working at a grocery store and shelving boxes of produce* *drops beets* Oh. Oh my god."

"FRIEND:i suffer badly with insomnia ME:what's that FRIEND:it's where you can't sleep ME:you just*lays down*just like this *falls asleep*see?"