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Joke of the Day

"I woke up today feeling like a god! I don't believe in myself. :("

"The only thing worse than a woman who's completely lifeless in bed.. .. Is getting caught with the body"

"What do you call an Internet mystery? An e-nigma."

"My boyfriend isn't allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Mom & Dad. Mom & Dad who? Exactly. -Cool way to tell your son he's adopted."

"In a parallel universe, cartoons are watching us and thinking ""how sad, they die if you drop an anvil on their heads..."""

"What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician? A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!"

"Interviewer: Where did you receive your education? Me: Yale Interviewer: Wow! When did you graduate? Me: I yust got out in Yuly"

"What was the musician doing when he was struck by lightning? He was conducting."

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? My pad or yours?"