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Joke of the Day

"*Skrillex, young and penniless, is working at a grocery store and shelving boxes of produce* *drops beets* Oh. Oh my god."

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"Han Solo had a much cooler older brother called Drum"
"April showers bring May flowers. And car bombs, suicide bombers, beheadings, etc. Tis the season."
"What is the difference between rat poison and diet coke? Diet coke has better advertising."
"Waiting to see who you're sitting next to on an airplane is the original Chatroulette. Now where the hell is the next button?"
"How do Russians put windows in? Putin Windows duh."
"What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity? ""Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes."""
"Sloth 911: What's your emergency [1 week later] Sloth: I'VE BEEN SHOT [1 week later] Sloth 911: DON'T MOVE! We'll be there in a month"
"Reddit admins once ate a whole Pizza Hut."
"Man buns: Because girls want the convenience of a guy who always has a hair tie."
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