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Joke of the Day

"FRIEND:i suffer badly with insomnia ME:what's that FRIEND:it's where you can't sleep ME:you just*lays down*just like this *falls asleep*see?"

"I wish my wife were more like the Cleveland Browns. She'd work out all week and suck dick every Sunday."

"A good metaphor for today's youth is the book Peter Pan... Kids sneak out. Get high on dust together. Beat up handicapped man, and steal his boat."

"A dog had three puppies: Mopsy, Topsy, and Spot. What was the mother's name. 'What'"

"Why is it so hard to forgive hitler? Because he did nothing wrong"

"If an electric train travels 90 miles an hour in a westerly direction and the wind is blowing from the north in which direction is the smoke blowing? There is no smoke from an electric train!"

"What do nazis use to mass produce toys? A vinyl solution."

"Why shouldn't you protest wound treatment? It won't get better if you picket it."

"Can't believe Nintendo didn't make a commercial for the Wii where a guy breaks up with a girl by saying ""It's not you, It's Wii""."

"Why isn't George R.R. Martin allowed on Twitter? He only has 140 characters to kill"