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Joke of the Day

"FRIEND:i suffer badly with insomnia ME:what's that FRIEND:it's where you can't sleep ME:you just*lays down*just like this *falls asleep*see?"

"Where do Pixar employees go for Happy Hour? CGI Friday's."

"4 women were working quietly on a project that's it"

"Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar? they each got 6 months"

"How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!"

"Life's not about people who act true to your face. It's about people who remain true behind your back."

"A man rushes into a psychiatrist's office and shouts ""Doctor, you have to help me! I think I'm invisible."" The shrink looks at his appointment schedule and says ""I'm sorry, I can't see you right now."""

"I would be a bad fish. Fishermen would be like, ""omg i'm so ugly"" and I'd take the bait and disagree, instead of swimming away."

"Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I haven't paid $500 to have a garbanzo bean in my face."

"Why did the French chef quit working at the haunted restaurant? He got creped out."