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Joke of the Day

"ME: For my final wish, I'd like to lose some weight. GENIE: Only way is to eat less and exercise more. ME: This is bullshit."

"If your an American before you go in the bathroom and your an American when you come out, what are you when you are in the bathroom? European"

"Whenever your ex says, ""You'll never find someone like me."" You reply with ""That's the point."""

"Parrot gets around"

"Born to be mild."

"Fight fire with water. Idiots."

"Daddy long legs are the NBA players of spiders."

"Are you constantly in a rush and have ZERO time to just sit around and relax? What the hell are you doing here then, dipshit ??"

"I'm an 8 day old fetus And I believe music from the olden days is better than today's shit."

"Diet day 1 I have removed all the bad food from the house. It was delicious."