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Joke of the Day
"Whenever your ex says, ""You'll never find someone like me."" You reply with ""That's the point."""
Next Joke
"What does cheese say when you take its picture? Make sure you get my Gouda side!"
"If you think politicians are the best at 'spin'... you should listen more at funerals."
"They have a sea food place at Sea World. How morbid. What if I'm eating a slow leaner."
"I don't know why friends and family keep getting pregnant when I have two kids right here they can have."
"My life would be so much easier if i wasn't intelligent enough to realize how fucking stupid some people are."
"Having sex is a lot like communism... You both give and receive equally, you take turns reading from the communist manifesto, Stalin is there!"
"Me: You know what cures a headache right? Wife: Tylenol Me: You know what else cures a headache? Wife: Advil Me: You know what else ......"
"Why are midgets so skinny? Because they eat h*elf*ally"
"Jesus' Greatest Miracles: 3) Turning water to wine 2) Raising Lazarus 1) Maintaining a milky-white complexion in a desert climate for 33 yrs"