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Joke of the Day

"Me: I love you so much Calories: I love you more"

"I like that they put Bibles in hotel rooms. You never know when you're going to run into a vampire who's on a road trip."

"I saw this guy in Walmart... ...who was bashing his head on the border between aisles 9 and 10. He said ""Go away muggle, I'm trying to get into aisle 9 3/4!"""

"what's green and lives in the cupboard?? last year's hide and go seek champion"

"The wife and I were trying to spice things up in the bedroom... so now I cumin her every thyme."

"I'm dying to get one of those babies that smoke. Too cute!"

"Hope I'm never tortured, because I just pulled a hangnail off my finger and now this entire restaurant knows my pin number."

"What is a stealth bombers favorite banana from Bananas in Pajamas? B2"

"I've conditioned myself to only poop at work. Now my bathroom smells great but I can't take more than 2 days off w/o terrible constipation."

"What do you call an economist at an amusement park who is just sitting around? A lazy fair goer!"