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Joke of the Day

"Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me."

"I only remember the punchline: ""Follow the yellow-dicked toad!"" Anyone know the joke?"

"Friend: Did you know that a butterfly only lives for 2 days? Me: I think that's a myth. Friend: No it's definitely a butterfly."

"Q: what do you call an orange Jew? A: Ivanka trump"

"Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter."

"What's the difference between an Irish funeral and an Irish wedding? One less drunk..."

"DA: Where r my legal briefs? Paralegal *hands him his boxers* Judge: lol Jury: We're hung Judge: ha! DA: Balls in your court Judge: DO MORE!"

"What do a washing machine and a one night stand have in common? a washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it.."

"When I tell people I don't speak English to get out of a conversation I randomly throw the word hemorrhoid just to bring it home"

"White girls: You do know Nutella has been around for more than 50 years and is terrible for you, right?"