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Joke of the Day

"Where do you find an enlightened mosquito? In Bhuddapest"

"Mom: ""Why are your eyes dilated?"" Me: ""Your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love"" Mom: ""What were you looking at?"" Me: ""Memes"""

"Have you seen the special message written at the bottom of a condom when you roll it all the way out? Me neither.."

"My boss told me, ""you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?"" I replied, ""I'm not sure, it's hard to keep track"""

"Why did the duck go to the basketball game? He heard the ref was blowing fouls!"

"Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!"

"Q: What did the Momma Buffalo say to her child as he left for school? A: Bison!"

"Why do I need a wingman? How's a half-man half-bird freak gonna get me laid?"

"Waiter Waiter there's a fly in my ice-cream ! Gee I did not know that they had started winter sports so early in the year !"

"I was just told by my doctor that I have cancer and alzheimer's. At least I didn't get cancer!"