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Joke of the Day
"I was just told by my doctor that I have cancer and alzheimer's. At least I didn't get cancer!"
Next Joke
"I got gas for $1 today damn bean burritos."
"""Don't kill it!"" my friend pleaded for a spider's life inside. So I carefully trapped it in a cup, brought it outside, then stomped on it."
"I spent a good portion of today sitting in a Snuggie watching Cops. Eventually, they told me to go home and put on pants."
"I hope Death is a man. That way it will come quickly and be over before I know it."
"One of my nipples is a different color from the other two. Is this normal?"
"Open bottle, allow it to breathe. If it does not look like it's breathing, give it mouth to mouth -Beer"
"I'm writing a book called 'Stop Overreacting.' If no one buys it I'm going to kill myself."
"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and it's always down the chimney."
"Who is the idiot that called it ""possession of marijuana"" and not ""joint custody""?"