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Joke of the Day
"A rabbit's favourite Christmas song? 'Lettuce with a gladsome mind'"
Next Joke
"Why stop with two L's Lloyd? why?"
"Are you involved in ISIS? Because I'm falling head over heels for you."
"Cat puns freak meowt"
"Fifty Shades of Grey beat the record for fastest selling R-rated movie in history... Well, first it tied the record... then it beat it.... [credit goes to the Late Night with Seth Meyers writers]"
"I want to piss on the guy that stole my tweet, changed it slightly and submitted as his own on FunTweets and then set him on fire."
"Autocorrect can be a real birch. Dammit!"
"I don't like guys who only make periodic chemistry jokes at parties. I usually ask those Mendeleev."
"I ate an apple and jerked off with the core in my ass But not in that order"
"My wife always accuses me of having a favourite child. It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally."