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Joke of the Day

"Don't get it. Heard the phrase ""keep your friends clothes & keep your enemies clothes, sir"". Now I have a bunch of naked people angry at me."

"Why was the astronaut so sore? He had a buildup of ga-lactic acid."

"Tall girls might get modeling contracts but I can still ask for the high school student discount."

"Did you hear what the Pope was giving up for lent? His job."

"Hi, how much for this torture device? Sir, that's a wedding ring."

"Did you hear about the useful kid who jerks off too much? He cums in handy"

"""My microwave is broken"" -Abraham Lincoln"

"Why are the landmarks in Paris quarantined? Because they are parasites"

"A grasshopper walks into a bar... A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says ""We have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper says, ""You have a drink named Steve?"""

"Local mom finds cure to weight loss, Scientist are dumbfounded... at how gullible people on the internet are."