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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the useful kid who jerks off too much? He cums in handy"

"The first 2 slices of pizza cure depression and the last 14 bring it right back."

"I'm not fat, i'm half-Bulemic. I eat everything i see, but i can't throw up."

"Did you know that God is rich? Yeah, back in Israel he made a prophet."

"Actually officer, if you factor in the earth's rotation, we were all speeding"

"Haram Two jews walk into a bar. NOT IN MY COUNTRY"

"you mean the story about the elderly lady who had some sort of fur coming out of her lower back? oh thats nothing but an old wives tail"

"My favorite knock knock joke. Knock Knock! Who's there? To. To Who? To *Whom.*"

"A young nun is sewing a hole in a sock... ...when she pricks her finger with the needle. - Shit! - Crap, I said shit! - Damn, I said crap! - Aw, fuck it. I never wanted to become a nun, anyways."

"Dear naps, I'm sorry I was a jerk to you in kindergarten"