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Joke of the Day

"I'm glad we evolved from apes. If we evolved from chameleons, we'd constantly be walking into each other."

"I pulled my wife's panties to the side.......then put the rest of her socks in the drawer."

"Me and my ex-girlfriend just weren't meant to be together, she was a Capricorn... and I don't believe in bullshit"

"Rob Ford..too soon? *Some* people though it would be nice if Rob Ford could be mayor for tumor years."

"Why did a Hispanic man rob a train? He had loco motives!"

"Answering your cell when you don't recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker."

"What's the difference between a baby and a salad? Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad."

"What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common? They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks."

"If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height? From my head, tomatoes. Hope no one has heard this before, thought of it while driving."

"Got shut down by a 12 year old. Kid: wow you're really good! Me: good at what? :D Kid: Nothing. :l"