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Joke of the Day

"Can you eat me out? What are you doing?! I just wanted some of your pot brownie."

"TO: Everyone who has been run over by a boat in Venice... ...my deepest gondolances."

"Once you stop doing functional programming... You never return"

"I made up a new word. Plagiarism."

"Some coworkers sign emails with ""cheers"" or ""sincerely"" followed by their names but I typically use ""you've made a powerful enemy today."""

"A man has a sore throat and goes to the doctor... Doctor: ""Your tonsils gotta come out."" Patient: ""I want a second opinion!"" Doctor: ""Okay, I don't like your haircut."""

"NEW! ""How to Act"" DVD by Kristen Stewart! In love: :| Uncertain: :| Just married: :| Pregnant: :| Dead: :| Only $139.95! Act now!"

"Why are black crimes hard to solve? Because they're all criminals and they look the same."

"Wife told me she wants to have sex in the back of the car... She asked me if I could drive :-( Credit to Legend Rodney Dangerfield"

"What did the Puerto Rican dish say when he lost his Android? Where'd mofongo?"