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Joke of the Day

"Just threw away a trash can. That was weird."

"I'm already getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, I've given the bird to lots of people today."

"When I was young, I grew up in a theme park.. The theme of the park was trailer."

"How to get fucked up in bakery? Get creampied."

"Hear toddler having meltdown at Target Me: Parents should control their kids! Cashier: Isn't she yours? Me: C: I saw her come in with you."

"I was once slapped in the face by a girl with twelve nipples... (.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.) Sounds weird, dozen tit?"

"what do Chinese people say when it is sunny outside. what do Chinese people say when it is sunny outside i wish it was raining cats and dogs that would be dericious"

"I won't believe the Groundhog saw his shadow until he updates his Facebook status."

"How to die from falling down stairs: Step 1 Step 2 Step 4 Step 9 Step 22 Step 23"

"Ugly girls are basically just dudes I'm not allowed to fight."