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Joke of the Day

"When I was young, I grew up in a theme park.. The theme of the park was trailer."

"starbucks is like a hooker... one on every corner and money upfront before they scream your name"

"[dinner party] GUEST: so what are your thoughts on euthanasia? ME: [mouth full of mashed potatoes] I am against youths everywhere."

"Why do women make bad engineers? Their whole lives they have been told 5 inches is 8"

"Car company executives must have the best memories in the world because GM recalls everything."

"Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors? Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan!"

"It makes me sad that the closest I'll ever get to 'hulking out' is splitting my trousers when I bend over."

"My daughter always said she wanted to see her name up in lights... You should've seen the smile on her face when she turned to look at me and say: ""Daddy, what's an 'Amber Alert'?"""

"A prince asked a beautiful princess to marry him.. And she said no. The prince lived happily ever after."

"Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" ""9/11."" ""9/11 who?"" ""...*you said you'd never forget*"""