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Joke of the Day

"Cant' believe my horse came first yesterday!!' Dad, how many times have I told you i'm not interested in your's and Camilla's bedroom antics!'"

"What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner? The placement of the dirt bag."

"Whenever I try to steal from people I get stabbed by an old plastic fork or a stick. The homeless are resourceful, man."

"I just met someone who was a steam-roller operator. He was such a flatterer."

"I bet chickens have mixed emotions about Thanksgiving, because they're safe for a day, but why aren't they good enough for a holiday meal?"

"What is Mexico's National Sport? Cross-Country"

"Treat your relationships as you would your teeth, daily attention and they could last a lifetime, too bad the same can't be said for hair."

"What did Hillary say when she bumped into Barack Obama at the White House? Pardon me."

"You know it's cold outside... When you see a politician with their hands in their own pockets."

"Dr: do you have kids? me: yes I have 3 kids Dr: do you drink? me: yes I have 3 kids"