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Joke of the Day

"So I accidentally sent nudes to everyone in my address book. Worst part about it? Cost me a small fortune in postage stamps."

"I always get Naan bread from the supermarket I don't know why, she's been dead for 30 years"

"Why are fish only happy inside? They have in-door fins"

"My girlfriend told me that if I took her to get sushi, I didn't have to use a condom after. She's getting the raw end of that deal!"

"I witnessed an attempted murder earlier... Luckily only one crow showed up..."

"[ouija board] ""Spirits are u there? I A M H E R E. Y O U W A N N A T A L K? Y O U W A N N A H A N G O U T? [squints] ""A needy board?"""

"Hugh Hefner and Larry King used to room together when they helped build the pyramids."

"interviewer: do you have any experience in a leadership role? me: well, I am the group admin for a WhatsApp group"

"What is it with Russians and their track suits? Because back in Soviet day, suit track you."

"How does a black woman stop crime? She gets an abortion."