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Joke of the Day

"If an Elvis impersonator dies, doesn't he kind of become the best Elvis impersonator"

"It's only perverted if she says no.."

"I'm not saying he's a gold digger, but he certainly did not hold back when I took him through the McDonald's drive thru."

"My good friend died having sex I guess you could say he came and went at the same time."

"Republicans say ""Merry Christmas!"" Democrats say ""Happy Holidays!"""

"Hey Customer Service Instead of monitoring this call for quality purposes, how about you just listen to what I need and fix it?!?"

"I saw a very odd Middle Eastern market the other day. It was quite bazaar."

"How do Mexicans greet Dr. Seuss? Jesus!"

"Q. Where can you dance in California? A. San Fran-disco"

"[Boss' office] ""You're late AGAIN."" Drove back for my phone. ""Why do need it at work?"" It's all I do. ""WHAT?"" I said, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU."