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Joke of the Day

"Why aren't you allowed to smile when taking your driver IDs? Because you won't be smiling when the cops pull you over."

"Why did the donkey cross the road and cause an accident? Cause he's an ass."

"A keyboard walks into a bar He orders a round of drinks fir everyone. The bartender asks him how he will be paying for the drinks. The keyboard says ""just put it on my tab."""

"What's the best way to break in a new pair of shoes? Moonwalking"

"wife: you're listening to too much theatrical heavy metal Me: behold! The weaver of lies! A dark seamstress of shadows lurks amongst us"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter?"

"What's the best part about having sex with 25 yr olds? There's 20 of them!"

"Q.) What would you call a bunch of blondes stacked on top of each other? A.) An air mattress."

"Whoever named the White House and the Pentagon also probably named oranges."

"What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-er."