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Joke of the Day

"My good friend died having sex I guess you could say he came and went at the same time."

"Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father Luke: really? Darth Vader: yeah. Why? Luke: you have the voice of a heavyset black guy is all"

"What's the difference between origami and a grandpa passing wind? One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old."

"Whenever I try to steal from people I get stabbed by an old plastic fork or a stick. The homeless are resourceful, man."

"Life is lot like a Pe*nis! Simple, soft, Straight, hanging Freely then a woman make it hard......"

"New Horizons probe discovers trees on Pluto! Reporters asked ""how can you tell?"" And NASA said ""from the bark, you dummies!"""

"When I die I want the people I did group projects with to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time."

"Criminal Tip: Buy a gun from a guy off the streets. As soon as he sells it to you, point it at him & get your $$ back. Free gun."

"My girlfriend loves kinky sex. [nsfw] My girlfriend loves kinky sex. She says going down on me makes her day, butt sex makes her hole weak."

"Why don't blind people skydive more often? It scares the shit outta their dog! - - - - **Now how do the blind people know they're about to hit the ground ?** The leash gets slack."