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Joke of the Day

"Another knee-slapper by my 8 year old brother. Which president likes doing laundry? George WASHING-A-TON. He's the 8 year old white Kevin Hart."

"Why did Barty Crouch Jr. stop drinking? It was making him Moody"

"I dont tweet much abt my goal to poop every letter of the alphabet. Did the easy ones (C, J) yrs ago. Just toughies left. Your B & W. Your Q"

"Did you hear about the guy who designed the monorail? He had a one track mind."

"No matter how bad your day is going, just remember that somewhere in the world someone just got a pubic hair in their coffee."

"How does a Jewish mother change a lightbulb? ""No, that's all right. I'll just sit here in the dark."""

"God, grant me serenity to accept that people are ignorant, courage to uphold the law when I'm hostile & wisdom to realize murder is illegal."

"Why did the mouse whisper into the elephant's ear? The giraffe put him up to it."

"I used to have a job eating vegetables I hated it, but the celery was good"

"I just found a great new way to check email, Facebook, Twitter, chat with friends and buy stuff on eBay, all from one spot. I got a job."