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Joke of the Day

"Why do pedophiles love Old Navy sales? Cause all the kid's clothes are 60% off."

"The British are coming! Get ready! Oh wait they're coming by boat. We have like three months"

"Why are oranges like bells? You can peel (peal) both of them."

"If a tree falls in the woods.... .....and no one is around to hear it. Will a hipster buy the soundtrack?"

"A doctor to his patient. Doctor: Sir, we have some good news and some bad news, the good news is that you've got a day left to live, the bad news is I forgot to tell you that yesterday."

"Did you hear about the Scarecrow that won an award? It was for being outstanding in his field."

"Have you heard about the Viagra shipment that was stolen? The police are on the lookout for hardened criminals."

"Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocaine? He wanted to transcend dental medication."

"What is the difference between a PhD in mathematics and a large pizza? The pizza can feed a family of four"

"Texting someone back while driving just means that you love them enough to actually die for them."