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Joke of the Day

"If a tree falls in the woods.... .....and no one is around to hear it. Will a hipster buy the soundtrack?"

"Buckwheat converted to Islam... He is now Kareem of Wheat"

"What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver? The home golfer goes WHACK! ""Oh no!"" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa"

"I can see your camouflage pants, so they're not working."

"There was a convention for lazy-eyed bachelors and bachelorettes. There was a massive turn out: Most of them ended with a perfect mate.... You could say that their eyes crossed in a crowded room."

"My housemate threw milk on me... how dairy."

"What did daddy fish do when mommy fish got herself lost? ...He flounder"

"I'm not an alcoholic, an alcoholic NEEDS a drink... I already have one"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop sucking after you slap it."

"Im not sure whats so 'outstanding' about this bill? It seems pretty ordinary to me."