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Joke of the Day

"Your British accent is so attractive! If we had kids would they have British accents? We should do a scientific test & find out. For science"

"I didn't have a condom last night, so I used a sock... She wouldn't stop complaining about cotton mouth."

"A horse walks into a bar The bartender asks ""why the long face?"" The horse unable to understand human speech promptly takes a dump on the floor and leaves"

"Saw an ad that said ""Radio for sell, volume stuck on full. 1$"" I thought, ""I can't turn that down""."

"What did one gay sperm say to the other? How are we supposed to find an egg in all this shit?"

"driverless cars???? I don't trust autocorrect to pick the correct word let alone let a car just drive me .... by itself"

"Asians are so bad at driving im starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident."

"If you survived a shark attack, nice job, asshole. You just missed out on the coolest way to die."

"Why are Americans bad at League of Legends? Cause they can't protect their towers."

"What ten letter word starts with g-a-s? Automobile."