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Joke of the Day

"driverless cars???? I don't trust autocorrect to pick the correct word let alone let a car just drive me .... by itself"

"A Mexican magician says he's going to make himself disappear on the count of three.. He says, uno.. Dos.. And then he vanished without a tres!"

"My friend got a dog for his wife. I told him it was a fair trade."

"If I hear another conversation about that stupid dress... I'm going to beat them until they're white and gold."

"What do couch potatoes evolve into? Computer chips."

"Samsung developed an infinite space hard drive. Only problem is they're still formatting it."

"ME: look a possum HER: actually it's spelled opossum ME: you don't no how I spelled it, we're talking HER: actually it's spelled know"

"What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk? The cookie!"

"All in favor of imitating Spanish women say ""Aye-yi-yi."""

"How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes."