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Joke of the Day

"A horse walks into a bar The bartender asks ""why the long face?"" The horse unable to understand human speech promptly takes a dump on the floor and leaves"

"The Energizer Bunny is starting a career in porn... They put his batteries in backwards and he keeps coming and coming and coming."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy."

"Who's the fax machine player in Skrillex?"

"Made the mistake of dropping my pants when my dentist put on latex gloves."

"""Ladies, calm down. Girlfriend, wife, whatever. The important thing is that between the 2 of you, you brought enough to post my bail"""

"I told my girlfriend I wanted a nose job. She said sure if it would make me happy. So I fucked her up the nostril."

"Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a ""hole."" Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq."

"I've been messing about with my ouija board and i asked it if i was gonna get laid tonight. The pointer keeps gliding between the H and the A. It's been half an hour now...."

"What does the zero say to the eight? I like your belt. Ok, ok. I know it's elementary, but I still love it."