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Joke of the Day

"1886: We invented a car! 1903: We invented a plane! 1969: We went to the moon! ... ... ... ... ... ... 2015: Taco Emoji!"

"A mexican and black person have a car race. They both end up going over a cliff and die. Who won the race? Society."

"Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one - but the guitarist has to show him first."

"How did the gangster die below the Empire State Building? Someone dropped a dime on him."

"Why can't atheists solve quadratic equations? They don't believe in higher powers."

"If you take the word ""spatula"" out of the dictionary it's just a list of things that aren't spatulas."

"BOSS: Okay, let's do this. What names are you pitching? COWORKER: Hannah Montana ME: Assapoopshits Massachusetts BOSS: Michael you're fired"

"In case I ever doubted my status as an American, being able to buy girl scout cookies on my way out of the gym was a heady reminder."

"Who needs Karate lessons when you can just have a bee near your head?"

"Have you heard of the two Mexican firemen? Hose-A and Hose-B."