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Joke of the Day

"Who needs Karate lessons when you can just have a bee near your head?"

"INTERVIEWER: this says u work well with otters. Did u mean others? ME (shoving a romp of otters back into my briefcase): haha yeah of course"

"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? I heard it's very time consuming."

"What has six balls and rapes the poor? The lottery. It's over $800 million folks! Dragged this joke back for the occasion."

"Why are Iranian women always eating? They can't stop getting stoned"

"What is a cat's favorite breakfast? Mice crispies."

"I ordered a book called ""How to relieve stress"" My goodness, for the life of me I really hope that it arrives on time. And that it's useful. And that the delivery man doesn't dislike me."

"Whats the best thing about duct tape? It turns NO! NO! NO! into MMM MMM MMM"

"Why did the cow get a job at Google? Because she was out standing in her field."

"I was sorting out my loose change when I dropped a 1p coin and saw it roll into a drain, which everyone around me thought was hilarious. Laughing at my ex-pence."