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Joke of the Day

"What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on a chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."

"I have no use for this *tosses dictionary out of glass square thing which you can see outside through*"

"So Twilight jokes - What does a vampire call a used tampon? A teabag."

"My dog cant hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away"

"Why do christians burn fossil fuels? They're trying to destroy the evidence."

"What is the difference between being horny and hungry? Where you put the cucumber."

"first day at school?"" Mother: ""Did you enjoy your first day at school?"" Girl: ""First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?"

"When I can't think if a joke I just masturbate and it cums to me"

"Interviewer: When were you most satisfied at your last job? Me: After lunch, next question."

"What was the name of Tom Sawyer's fish? Huckleberry Fin!"