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Joke of the Day

"funny My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys."

"Did you know there is a Virus that turns fruits into vegetables? It's called AIDS."

"Jurassic World: A generically modified smart 50 ft monster has turned violent and this, for some reason, took people by surprise."

"[first date] Her: I just love eating clean and staying healthy, you know? Me:*flashback to the time I cry-ate two lasagnas* Totally"

"How long does it take to burn a candle down ? About a wick !"

"Oh, you love your boyfriend? Please, go ahead and saturate my Facebook news feed with your feelings."

"What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas? Cancer."

"how do you piss of a frenchman? ask him what part of canada he's from"

"What did the cat say after reading """"To Kill a Mockingbird""? I want a refund: there's not one darn thing about how to kill a bird *anywhere* in this book."

"What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike? Look ma, no hands!"