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Joke of the Day

"Hate it when I get carried away with emotions. Lost a who-blinks-1st competition with a box of donuts & had to eat em all in a fit of rage"

"PREACHER: any prayer requests? 3 DUCKS IN A TRENCHCOAT (from the last pew): do the one about our daily bread"

"Fitness coach: have you been exercising & doing push-ups? *Flashback to me running after the ice cream man & buying all the push-ups* ""yes"""

"A quick Mel Gibson joke. If Mel Gibson directed a popular 90's show starring Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt: ""Mad about Jew"""

"Sorry Amanda. There will be no second date. First off, the plural of shrimp IS shrimp. Not shrimps. Also it's pronounced sammon, not sallman"

"Why'd the cookie go to the hospital? It was feeling a little crumby."

"If guns don't kill people, people kill people, Then it must also be true that toasters don't toast toast. Toast toast toast."

"Today my girlfriend yelled today saying: ""You weren't even listening just now, were you?"" What a weird way to start a conversation."

"My dog smells... ...Like Philippino food."

"If con is the opposite of pro... ... then congress is the opposite of progress."